AUTUMN 2011

In this Issue….

Hello once again. My apologies for the delay in getting this edition to you, my laptop died a horrible death, PC World completely let me down; failed miserably to rescue my data; lost the machine in its system and eventually took seventeen days to return it to me on Bank Holiday Monday! Thankfully it took a friend’s son less than four hours to retrieve my data and fix the laptop! Moral of the story is BACK-UP YOUR DATA and don’t trust PC World!!

A couple of our members have had stays in hospital, I know they don’t want a fuss but it would be rude not to wish them a speedy recovery. Get well soon!

Thank you to everyone who donated their Sainsburys and Tesco vouchers to the club. We banked Tesco’s and bought blindfolds, balls, pom poms and a storage bag with the Sainsburys.

I rolled a couple of events over from the last edition so now you have six events to read about! There are also details of Roy’s Dinner Dance and the January trip. If you manage to read the whole enormous publication this time round, please feel free to use it for a doorstop, to level a wonky table or as a car ramp! I can’t believe it has so much in it and I hope it isn’t going to bore the pants off you. If you do find it dull as dishwater I suppose you could always use it as a sleep aid!

Alternatively, I am more than happy to hand it all over to you, the next editor! (Please!!)

Lesley

A few words from your new Commodore - Lesley Packwood

See Commodore page

from your VICE-Commodore

See Vice-Commodore page

CHAIRMAN & PRO’s Update

Autumn 2011

It’s been very different and looking back at what we’ve done so far this year I would like to thank Lesley for all her hard work, What is she going to do next? I’m looking forward to the rest the programme.

Preston Riversway Festival was another fantastic weekend down at Preston Docks meeting new and old friends, with Entertainment, Bands, Marquee, Programme of Events, Best Decorated Boat, Best Illuminated Cruising Boat and the super Goody Bags, thank you once again Ken & Sue Hudson, Preston Council, Sponsors and helpers.

I couldn’t make it to Hest Bank Weekend the forecast was absolutely terrible, it was a joining of those who were on their way back, those going on Holiday and the hardy cruisers who just went all that way just for the weekend, as per usual the weather turned out to be ok and by the phone calls I received from the Thursday Evening it was a very merry and enjoyable weekend. I missed out on that one but I will make up for it SOON.

Take Care

Sandra Henstock

(NB Blue Lagoon)

Membership & Boat Changes

Pauline Lang,

Ex NB Stress Relief

Peter, Lesley and family would like to thank all our friends in the LCBC for their support during Pauline’s illness and for the many cards, messages of sympathy and kind donations to the RNLI. A total of £500 was raised by family and friends.

Pauline had been a member of the LCBC since 1999 and made many great friends. Although not a great lover of sailing she thoroughly enjoyed the social side of the boat club either on the towpath with a Gin and Tonic or at one of the many organised social occasions.

We are sure would wish you all many happy hours sailing on what she referred to as a ‘strip of water with grass at either side’.

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LCBC welcomes our new members - See New Members & Boat Changes Page - No changes this time

Another Very Windy Bottom!

Well I hope I remember everything that happened at the final May Bank Holiday because while I was at the Riversway Festival and dishing out the last Cruiser, (the cow cower picture was taken at the bottom end!), I realised I had overtyped the hours of work I had written up about our windy bottom end. OK, here we go! Before I could set off for the bank holiday do at the bottom end I had to get the marquee to the farmer’s field. While visiting Narrow Escape on the Thursday night and under the influence of a drink or three, Dave and I ended up having a wager of a bottle of Ouzo against one of gin that I could not get the marquee into my car! The next morning, Dave very kindly came with me round to the lock up at Bridge House where we managed to squeeze the marquee into my Punto and put the signs etc into Dave’s Ka car. One bottle of gin to me!

Most of the group turned around and returned to the boats while Ronnie, Sheila, Sandra, Joan and I carried on over the canal bridge and found a footpath that took us up the other side, parallel with the canal. It was a bit muddy in places and there was a dispute about whether to climb over a gate into a muddy field or over a stile into an overgrown stretch of the path. While Ronnie took the stile, the ‘ladies’ hauled themselves over the gate with much laughter and mickey-taking! When we reached the farm track that would take us back to the canal, Sheila and I carried on to Woodplumpton village to see exactly where the track emerged so we could direct anyone coming by road. It was a bit further than we expected but we made it there and back no problem.

By the time we returned to the canal, more boats had arrived and Reflections had sailed past and onwards to complete the third end. Lady Jeanna, Splashing Out and Stargazer had also arrived and it was time to get the generator to the marquee. Ken, Ronnie, Chris and myself carted the heavy machine from Lady Marie, just about the furthest distance it could have been, back to the marquee and with a lot of huffing and puffing and several stops we made it to the stile where plenty of hands took it the last twenty yards to its new home for the weekend.

A slight hiccough with the power cable meant that in order to stop Ken chopping bits off the plug, I had to make a quick trip back to the marina via the new shorter route that our very kind farmer had said we could use—no more electric fence or cows!

On the way I dropped off one of our LCBC boards at the junction of the track with the main road to make it easier for anyone arriving by car. While I made the one hour round trip to retrieve the cable and try to find the cat at the same time, Josh and Tom kindly dished out the day’s quiz. I arrived back with one of the two items, I am sure you know which one was still missing!

Power now available, we shifted the disco equipment from my boat into the tent where Chris soon had it all up and running and it was all looking good for the evening.

After everyone had BBQ’d their tea and we had made a few adjustments to the marquee to make sure it was not about to take off in the still gale force wind people made their way to the tent for the evening’s activities.

These started with the football match between Barcelona and Manchester United for which we set up a TV at one end of the marquee so that those that wanted to could watch it, while still remaining part of the larger group.

While the footie was on, I took a call to say that Fred had been caught at the marina and would I come and get him! Off I went again on the thirty mile round trip to collect the naughty moggie once again.

I returned in time to see the final few minutes of the game before returning the TV to the boat and collecting the stuff required for the evening.

To get everyone warmed up and enjoying themselves we started off with a new game where we had everyone standing up and split into two teams facing each other armed with a large fleece each. The idea was for the fleece to be transferred from one end of the line to the other by joining hands with the next person and taking it off/putting it onto the next person inside out etc. until it reached the end of the line.

There was much shouting and cheering and even accusations of cheating before a winning team emerged! As to the cheating, I found out later that it appears there was indeed some skulduggery which went unnoticed by myself and resulted in my team winning! It seems that we were lagging behind by the half way stage and a person or persons un-named crossed over to the other team’s line without being noticed which meant we had two or four people less on our side! I don’t know who thought of such a devious idea, but it is only cheating if you get caught and nothing was proved on the night so Yah Boo Sucks!!!

Before the laughter and accusations died away, I sprung another quiz on the unsuspecting throng. It was a variation of the speed quiz that I had tried at Brock. The winner would be the first one to get all ten rivers in the correct order. There were five ’rounds’ possible and the Hudson crew were the eventual winners on the fourth round. with all ten right, while some were still struggling to get more than a couple in the right order!

We spent the rest of the night with dancing round the cowpat, Jenga and Connect 4. A big shout went up when someone attempted to move the stool over the stool without realising why it was actually there!

Jane arrived around midnight having parked in the Jolly Roger’s car park and walking up the towpath to join us. The beauty of having a do in the middle of nowhere is that you haven’t got to think about annoying any nearby houses or other boaters. We partied on into the early hours with Jenga on the cow pat attracting a lot of attention.

By the time we had wrapped up the disco gear, shut down the generator and put it in the back of my car, the wind had dropped away and it was a beautiful night.

Sunday morning arrived and the wind returned with a vengeance but this did not deter Marie Celeste and Water Lily making the trip to the Preston end of the canal and back. We added a few guy ropes to the marquee, unloaded the generator again and after a leisurely morning I distributed yet another quiz, a bit more fun this time and one that required a bit of lateral thinking to get the answers right.

As we had another walk planned, I went to the fabulous free web site ‘wheresthepath.com’ to plan a reasonable route that took as past Moon’s bridge and back along a different route. I duly printed this off and we set off around 2pm on a glorious sunny but breezy afternoon.

Moon’s Bridge Marina was a mile away and we all trooped into the little shop and then out again as once again the prices were very much premium rates. I’m not sure if anyone bought anything but once again it was clear they wouldn’t be getting any much repeat business from us! Bill and Maureen were at the marina stomping around their home base but turned down the chance of coming with us to the pub which had somehow managed to become the target of our walk.

Ronnie had made the suggestion and Mike had mentioned finding the route to the Plough at Eaves from the canal as he had often fancied stopping on the canal and walking to it as it is not too far. Those with other commitments, babies and of course those who just didn’t fancy a longer than expected walk turned around and made their way back to the boats. The rest of us set off to find the footpath to the pub.

It was about a mile and a half along the towpath to where the footpath headed inland. It was just after the big winding hole most of us use following mooring at Bilsborrow. We made a slight miscalculation and called those who had turned right back so we could all go left. This turned out to be the wrong decision as we ended up in the middle of a farm with a barking dog, no visible path and a ton of effluent underfoot!

The farmer was very kind and he let us through his yard while advising us where we should have turned. We trooped out of the farm and onwards to the pub which was now within a half-mile. One final obstacle to overcome before our refreshment break was an electric fence crossing the track which provided us with an enduring vision of Sandra on all fours trying to avoid a shocking experience!

We finally made it to the pub and although we got some strange looks from the locals we managed to get served and took our refreshments out to the beer garden. By now the comments about the length of the walk had started and queries about the way back and what time we would arrive were being bandied about in between gulps of cider etc. After a couple of pints and several toilet breaks, we set off on the home leg. Josh found some giant rhubarb stuff to hide in and very pretty he looked too! Luckily my little map showed us the way back to the boats although at times I don’t think I was believed! With about a half-mile to go we turned off the road and started across a cow field. Actually it turned out to be a field full of young bulls not cows and as we know how curious they are, it was an interesting five minutes getting everyone across!

Tarka’s Tom enjoyed talking to the black bullocks face to face, Splashing Out’s Mick kept the ladies safe brandishing his large umbrella and Lady Marie’s Chris brought up the rear keeping well out of the way of everything! Brave lads! Climbing over the last stile and leaving the bolshy bullocks behind and with the marquee now in sight, you could be forgiven for thinking we were home and dry now. There was however, one final incident to report. The little map that I had used to guide us on our way, showed a direct route to the boats via a small crossing over a stream. About six of us went this way while the larger group opted for the longer way round without the stream crossing.

Climbing over the last stile and leaving the bolshy bullocks behind and with the marquee now in sight, you could be forgiven for thinking we were home and dry now. There was however, one final incident to report. The little map that I had used to guide us on our way, showed a direct route to the boats via a small crossing over a stream. About six of us went this way while the larger group opted for the longer way round without the stream crossing. I was in the middle of the group as we approached the plank that was the ‘bridge’ across the stream. First one across, second one across, my turn. As I started to step up onto the other side of the stream I felt something tighten around my ankle. I immediately stopped and balancing precariously in mid-stride I looked down and my initial thoughts were prved correct—I had somehow managed to step into a wire snare! Luckily Chris was behind me and rescued me from what could have been a nasty situation if I had been on my own. With his help I managed to extricate myself from the wire loop which a furious Chris wrenched from its fixing and threw into the stream where hopefully it won’t cause any further danger to animals, or humans!

The day’s unplanned events were not over yet! Although we made it back to the boats with no further mishaps, Jane and Sue had planned a car shuffle to get Jayne’s car back to the marina and collect Sue’s van ready for a Monday morning flit back to the farm. Unfortunately by the time Jayne arrived at the Jolly Roger to get the car, the owner had locked the gates and refused to let her have the car back saying that someone had accidentally gone to Blackpool with the key! (Bear in mind that the night before, Jayne had driven into the car park in the middle of the night without any problem!

What to do? Bolt cutters and hacksaws were mentioned but in the end we decided to wait until the allotted time and give the prat of an owner the benefit of the doubt and hope he would let the car out at 9am as promised.

My memory tells me I made another journey back to the marina with Sue this time, to collect the Hudson’s van but I really can’t remember now and having somehow overwritten the whole weekend’s story as I mentioned, I am rewriting this from my notes!

Anyway following the BBQ teas it was time to enter the marquee once again and tonight’s entertainment. So far this year, some of the best activities have been made up on the spur of the moment and the Duck Bingo was no different! I thought of the idea when I saw three ducks stomping along in a line so I dug out the plastic ducks we had used at Brock and laid them all out to check we had ducks 1 to 90 in order to play bingo. Luckily we had the full set and once everyone had had the chance to inspect them we started the game with Chris as our bingo caller.

Most people had bought six cards and as the regular bingoers will tell you, this means you will get every number called. This was a concept that Tarka’s Kath could not quite grasp! ‘I’ve got that one’ was followed by ‘I’ve got that one too’, ‘and that one’ etc. After several attempts to explain the six card rule, Chris gave up and just put the microphone to Kath’s mouth after he had called a number to await the next comment! We did one line, two lines and a full house, we had nearly called all ninety numbers before joint calls from Eric and Mick who walked away with £8 each .

With more entertainment, (or should that be punishment?) in store, I requested volunteers for a game of 15 to 1. I think everyone was worn out after the walk as I could only muster thirteen victims to take part.

The first round was on song lyrics and there were groans when people knew the answer to questions they were not asked and cheers when anyone got one right! The second round was the nomination round and as at Glasson, raised many a laugh when nominations became personal!

The Hudson’s are a very knowledgeable family, they have won several of the quizzes this year, and their supremacy was reinforced by Pamela shouting out that she knew the answers from the towpath where she was attempting to get Lily off to sleep in the buggy!

To add to their wins, eventually, Sue H, with some impressive knowledge and a few inspired guesses emerged victorious! The thirty-nine cans of beer were duly piled in front of Ken & Sue before the remainder of the evening got under way and the Jenga and Connect 4 emerged once again. It was nearly 2am by the time we closed down for the night and locked things away in the car once again.

Rain moved in under the cover of darkness as expected but at least it wasn’t windy which was a bonus for getting the marquee down which we had done in less than an hour. We loaded it all into the back of the Hudson’s van before Sue, Jayne (having been finally ‘allowed’ to collect her car from the Jolly Roger) and myself all drove our vehicles to the marina where we deposited the van near the shed and the Ka at Chris’s mooring before driving back in the Punto and dropping Sue off at ‘Owd Nells to walk South to meet Marie Celeste.

By the time I was ready to leave, it was 11.30 and I passed Lady Marie travelling in the opposite direction having turned at the Jolly Roger, much to the disgust of the proprietor who had deliberately moored boats in the winding hole to try and make us have to sail to Salwick to turn round. His sabotage failed and I successfully turned around and headed back toward Garstang ready for the first night of the Mystery Tour.

Considering all the factors that had tried to defeat us; the wind; electric fences; the wind; curious cows, the wind; rabbit snares and of course the wind, we managed to have a fantastic weekend and many thanks to everyone who made it and for joining in the activities.

(By the way, I measured the walk and it was definitely only five miles!).

The First (and Probably Last) Mystery Cruise

When planning the events for this year, I had made a mental note that quite a few people had a week’s sailing during the spring half-term week. I took a chance and decided to see if anyone fancied a very casual cruising week under the LCBC flag. It appears I may have miscalculated your ability to put up with me for a whole week!

Tagging a mystery cruise onto the end of the Preston End rally meant that the first night was at the Tithebarn and Garstang for the annual Children’s Festival.

I tied up alongside Lady Marie at Bilsborrow, dropped Molly off emptied the loo, filled up with water and set off again while Chris was still washing his boat.

It was now a beautiful afternoon and the sail to the Tithebarn was gorgeous. I tied up right at the end of the visitor moorings and let the cats out to play while I trotted into town to catch the procession.

I bumped into quite a few other boaters, the crews of Czardas, Melody Scott, Senga te NeK, Phantom II and Nautical but Nice were all dotted around a very busy Garstang playing field and everyone was enjoying the spectacle.

Unfortunately the morning’s procession had been a washout with all the rain, this meant there was an abundance of sandwiches etc being sold off cheap and very nice they were too!

After watching the floats parading through the town I decided my favourite had to be the Harry Potter themed display, it was complete with quidditch goal posts and of course Hagrid was bringing up the rear.

I headed to the fairground with Phil, Tracey and Christopher where we watched Chris run up the helter-skelter, bounce on the trampolines and drag poor Mum onto a whirligig ride which would have made me ill I’m sure!

Tracey very kindly drove me back to collect my car from Woodplumpton and after dropping a couple of cases of beer off at the farmhouse I returned to the Tithebarn. It was still just me and the cats on the mystery cruise so although I was a bit disappointed, part of me was quite relieved as I would be able to relax!

I had a relatively early night and barely heard the fairground in the distance as I was debating with myself where to sail to in the morning.

In the end I decided on Hest Bank. Luckily the cats were about first thing so I locked them in the cratch before setting off to take the car back to the marina. I walked back along the towpath, stopped for a chat with Eric and Joan who had tied up on the other side of the bridge, before returning to Hagrid’s Cabin and getting under way.

I had just sailed past Garstang Marina when Fred appeared on the roof! How the heck had he got up there when he was supposed to be locked in the cratch? I stopped the boat and tempted Fred towards me until I could grab him and take him back inside. I couldn’t understand how he had got out of the cratch until I discovered that the front zip on the towpath side was undone and flapping. I zipped it up and telling myself off for leaving it undone, didn’t think any more about it until later that night.

The rest of the six hour sail to Hest Bank was uneventful and I arrived to find a sole LCBC boat there; Reynard! Bearing in mind that Ian and Ceri had been to the bottom end, two days earlier, I was amazed to see them facing South and nearly fell over when they told me they were on their way back from Tewitfield!

Once I was settled in, I joined Reynard for a glass of wine while waiting for Molly to arrive. This happened some time later complete with boyfriend Tom and family!

Fred and Shaggy were perched in the cratch and I was chatting away when suddenly a dog came a little too close and Fred flew at him and swiped it round the nose !

Luckily there was no harm done and both cats and surprised muttley went their own ways, the dog scratching its nose carried on with its walk while both Fred and Shaggy whizzed up onto the roof with classic bottle-brush tails!

Having briefly entertained the visitors, Molly and I returned to Reynard for another glass of wine or three and listened to Ian’s tales of his family’s life on the working barges many years ago.

It was only after we had said goodnight and were on our way back to the boat when I realised why the cratch cover zip had been undone and the cat could get out! Some greedy, selfish thief must have opened the cover in order to steal my ladybird and mushroom lights from on top of the cratch! I couldn’t believe it! Furious doesn’t quite convey my anger! I had had the ladybirds up there for a couple of years and the mushrooms a couple of months and they had been stolen in Garstang! Outrageous!

I spent the night dreaming of chopping the thief’s hands off with a blunt knife and no anaesthetic! Reynard had already left for Barton Grange by the time I had breakfasted etc. and I got the feeling I was going to have a bad day when I stood in dog poo outside the boat while I was casting off!

I was amazed to see that there were no boats moored up on the towpath side after the pub. Not one! I have no idea where they have gone, but several people have also mentioned it. Any ideas anyone?

I could see a narrowboat in front as I was approaching Hatlex swing bridge, I speeded up to try and get a free ride through. I needn’t have bothered as the boat in front had not only stopped to open the bridge but had moored up and was debating with one of its crew what to do! I stopped in a wind shadow wondering what the problem was and considering if I should just chuck Molly off to go and take over. After a good few minutes of faffing around, someone finally went to the bridge and opened it. Thankfully they waved me through first and I believe they said they were novices as I passed them. I was thinking of another name for them but thanked them for allowing me through anyway. I suppose we all have to learn sometime!

It wasn’t too long before another boating incident happened. This time at Carnforth. I needed to stop at the services and do the loo, recycle at Tesco’s etc. I was just about to temporarily moor near the garage when the boat at the sanitary station, Osokosi, pulled away and waved me in. Great, I pushed off and jumped back on only to see a boat coming from the top end steal my place! I gave it plenty in reverse and ended up tying up near the slipway.

I did all but the water, forgot there was no can bank at Tesco, so carted all the rattling cans back again before finally getting on the waterpoint once the usurper had left.

I was just thinking what a quiet few days I was going to have when PC arrived and came alongside. Company for the mystery cruise again!

Molly and I set off knowing Fran and Don would soon catch us up after doing their chores and indeed they did. It was just after I had passed a group of canoeists attempting to raise a sail to propel them back to Borwick! They turned down my offer of a tow and continued their attempt to hoist their sail.

My target was not the Quarry Arm, although there were only a couple of boats in there, I was heading for bridge 136, 137, where there is just enough room for three or four boats. Luckily there was only one there so we both tied up behind it and Don was soon out with the brick wall wind break and his fishing rod.

I had a walk to Borwick with Fran and Misty and found the bus stop and times in case Molly fancied going off to Lancaster again. Soon after our return I received a text from Marjam saying they had finally managed to get down the Wigan Flight and should make the Ribble crossing in time to meet us all at bridge 74 at the weekend.

We had a little bonfire and our evenings entertainment was supplied by a group of triathletes who had already swum in the cold waters of Capenwray Dive Centre, cycled many miles up hills and country roads before the final run from the Dive Centre to Tewitfield and back! We were quite exhausted just clapping them all as they trundled past!

Thursday came along all too soon and it was a glorious day with no wind and plenty of sunshine. It was so warm that Don decided to cool off in his latest acquisition of a bright yellow inflatable dinghy. I fixed the puncture in my own inflatable but it wouldn’t be usable for twelve hours so Don had the water to himself and made the most of it

I was torn between taking pictures of Don getting out of the dinghy and helping him out and I am afraid it was the camera that won in the end!

The rest of the my day was spent flitting in and out trying to get some of the last Cruiser written up while Molly spent the whole day asleep and Don and Fran had a little sail to the top and back to while away the afternoon.

Friday saw another lovely day but no Fred. He just knows when I want to set sail! Fran and Don headed off to Carnforth while I made up my mind to leave Fred behind, sail to the top and pick him up on the way back, hopefully!

Luckily the phone rang and made my mind up for me. It was one of our new advertisers asking where I was so they could pay for their ad. Luckily he was going to be in Tewitfield in about an hour which gave Fred time to come home before I set off for my top end trip.

I collected the cash, emptied the loo, filled up with water, got Molly to take a picture as proof of my top end visit before sailing back to Carnforth. Tesco and the sanitary station really are the only reason I stop at Carnforth and having already done my chores at Tewitfield it was a very quick trip to the supermarket for supplies before setting off to Hest Bank for the evening.

As I approached the swing bridge, two canoeists came in the opposite direction. I had heard about swans attacking canoes but now I actually witnessed it myself! The first guy got through fine but the second one was facing the full ferocity of the big bird and as I approached dead slow, the poor canoeist was finding the only way to try and escape was to turn and paddle toward the swan! I tried to manoeuvre the boat between the swan and the canoe but it was windy and the swan was intent on attack! Luckily another boat was now coming through the bridge and they waved me through before finally managing to prevent the swan from drowning the poor canoeist! Incredible scene!

Once at Hest Bank, I joined PC once again and Fran and I popped down to the Chinese which was very tasty although Molly turned her nose up at the dish she had chosen saying there were too many vegetables! Molly went to bed hungry, Misty went to bed full!

PC was away early and just for a change I had both cats but couldn’t set off because I was waiting for Molly’s boyfriend and family to arrive for a sail to Lancaster. The five of them arrived around lunchtime and we got straight off for the short sail to Lancaster.

All the kids and even the mum had a go at sailing and enjoyed themselves weaving from side to side and fighting each other to get another go! I dropped them off at the Lancaster services and Molly went with them for the remainder of the weekend leaving me to enjoy a couple of days of peace!

Well not quite peace. I arrived at bridge 74 to see many of the club already tied up and enjoying a little tipple. Marjam had made it safely across the link and had settled back into life on the Lanky with alacrity. Jamie had grown even taller and now resembled a barge pole! We spent the evening wondering what type of bats were flying around and after a bit of googling on a variety of phones decided they were not Pipistrelles but might be Horseshoes!

Windbreaks and fires kept us warm until late into the night and Graham and Pauline had no choice but to stay up because our encampment was right outside their boat!

With only an hour’s sail on the Sunday, I waited until most of the others had sailed away before making the final leg of the tour and a return to normality.

It was a smashing end to a quiet mystery week away.

Bridge 74 revisited

The weekend before the longest day saw us at bridge 74. Well it sort of did! The weather the week before had been foul and with my plan for the majority of Summer do’s relying on at least a little sunshine, it was not looking good! I rang the farmer at Greaves farm, more affectionately known as the Piggeries to see if there was any chance of a last minute booking if the worst happened and the heavens opened. Mark informed me that there was a caravan rally booked in that normally took the function room and he would have to allow them first option although they hadn’t confirmed as yet.

I was checking the forecast every few hours and one minute I thought we would get away with it and the next not. In the end I thought there was nothing I could do about the poxy weather and we would make the most of the weekend come what may.

Molly was stopping in Lancaster for the Friday night so I just had to catch the cats when I finished work and just for once, the pair of them were there! I locked them in, did the usual preparations involving fluid intake and discharge as it were and set off a bit later than usual for me at around 6pm. The wind had dropped a little and it was a relatively easy departure until I was a hundred yards from the canal and noticed Mr H starting to reverse out of his berth. As he is normally way faster than me I whacked my boat in reverse and asked if he wanted to go first but he very kindly waved me through so off I went expecting Marie Celeste to overtake me at any minute.

I don’t know if it was the fact that we were on a short trip that stopped Ken from overhauling me but I am convinced he and Sue almost enjoyed life at my sedate pace for a change!! Cheers you two!

We both arrived at bridge 74 where I tied up and the Hudson’s carried on to turn at Ratcliffe Wharf. There were plenty of boats already with two windbreak villages set up, Imagine, PC and Killeadan right at the bridge, with Marjam, Lady Marie, English Rose, Meridian, Czardas and now Hagrid’s Cabin a little nearer the bench and sheltered from the incessant wind by the trees.

A smashing enclosure of windbreaks was great against the wind but wouldn’t be much cop against the rain that was expected later that evening. With Marg, Graham, Jamie, Josh and Chris helping we soon had a gazebo up which I anchored down with a few of the giant ground bar pegs from our marquee! I had been round to the lock up to collect various bits for the weekend and thought it would be an idea to borrow bungees and pegs just in case!

I visited the bridge dwellers where Ronnie was to paint his boat in the morning and they were all in good spirits. By the end of the night I believe the good spirits were in Don!

The group at the bench chatted merrily away until the rain arrived and we tried to get everyone under the gazebo with an assortment of umbrellas around the edges. I can’t remember how but Marg ended up with a golf brolly handle down the inside of her coat and after a little manipulation she managed to get it to stay steady by positioning it inside the back of her bra! We were treated to a display of Marg’s inventiveness for a while before Chris emerged with a tray of yummy baked potatoes that were soon wolfed down.

With the whippersnappers stopping out late, us old fuddy duddies retreated to bed just after midnight in the end, leaving Josh and Jamie inhaling paint fumes from the last of the wood!

The rain came down overnight as expected and when I awoke I could hear the sound of Ronnie finishing off the preparation for his paint job in the distance. I took my breakfast outside and took a walk up to the bridge to see how he was doing.

The weather was still a bit dodgy and the forecast was set for a wet and windy couple of days so I dished out a quiz on Grease to the boats already there. I took a call from the farmer to say that the caravanners had not arrived and would we still like the function room! What to do? I asked if I could have a bit of time to make my mind up while I trotted up and down the towpath asking everyone what they would prefer and reminding them that we were walking to Scorton at 1.30.

I was just having a cuppa on board Marjam when Czardas sailed past heading for bridge 73. It looked as though my mind had been made up for me!

I rang farmer Mark and said yes to the function room, caught the cats, started the engine and set off for Ratcliffe Wharf. No sooner had I sailed back past Marjam than the sun came out! I carried on down to bridge 73 where Geoff and Trish had saved me a spot nearer to the room so I could cart all my stuff inside.

After tying up and letting the cats out once again, I set off back up toward 74 but stopped half way to talk to Albion as they had moored up right on the bend. This was a bit strange as I had passed them an hour earlier at their home mooring when I turned round! It turns out they had broken down big style. The engine had suddenly revved itself silly and could not be switched off until two big bangs and a huge cloud of white smoke stopped it for good.

We decided the canal was just about wide enough to turn the boat a few yards down stream so we could get the boat facing the right way for a tow back to its mooring a half mile away. Imagine’s Mark and Sam were passing and with their help we swung the poorly boat around. It was a good job that it wasn’t a foot longer or we would have been snookered! Mark and Sam went off to get Imagine to tow Albion back to Ratcliffe Wharf. Unfortunately he had to sail to Winmarleigh to turn before coming back to hitch up a short towline just as the walkers were approaching.

I had arranged to meet the farmer at 1.30 and thought I had also suggested the afternoon’s walkers meet at Lady Marie at the same time which would leave me enough time to collect the key, have a quick tour of the room etc before the walkers arrived outside.

No, no, no, the troupe arrived just as Imagine returned so we hitched up a short triangular tow rope and away they went. One of the dogs nearly missed the boat but was grabbed by the scruff of the neck and ‘dog’-handled onboard.

Before we arrived back, several of us stopped off at the Old holly Farm to have a look at the animals, handle the chicks and rabbits, say hi to the new calves or ride on the toy tractors! Charlie wanted to stay longer so it was very handy that as we were walking the final stretch back to the boats we saw Phil, Tracy and Christopher approaching and Charlie happily agreed to return to the farm for another hour or so!

I returned to the boat, collected my laptop and new speakers and headed for the function room to get it ready for the evening. The sun was shining and I was praying for rain! I realised I hadn’t got the general knowledge questions ready for the evening so while you guys were enjoying the glorious breaks in the cloud, I was slaving over a hot laptop!

Although it is officially the towpath right outside the bridge and in front of the farmer’s house, he had asked that no boats tie up right outside. Unfortunately the message can’t have got through to everyone and once Ken had gone past the last moored boat he had no option I suppose but to tie up just where we had been asked not to! No matter what we tried, we couldn’t get Marie Celeste any further back because it really was incredibly shallow. Whoops!

I had several offers of help setting up the room and transporting stuff about which was great and the donkey work was soon done. The tables and chairs were laid out, the kitchen prepared and the black chair and spotlight put in place.

Most people had arrived by around 8pm and Kiah was desperate to sell draw tickets in her role as LCBC princess. Lucas did his bit too and as well as the draw, Fran collected a pound off everyone to cover the cost of the hall.

Much to his embarrassment, I had the pleasure of introducing Molly’s boyfriend Tom, to the boat club. He was given a huge round of applause and seemed to get on well with the other teenagers very easily.

We had a half-dozen Pink Ladies and a couple of T-birds to go with the music from Grease and Kath and Andrew looked fantastic. Apparently Andrew used to have that much hair! I tried but couldn’t persuade them to join in with the Grease classic ‘You’re the One that I want’. 9pm arrived and it was time to dim the lights and turn the spotlight on for Mastermind, round 3. Tonight’s contestants, or victims depending on your point of view, took their seats against the wall and one by one took their turn in the Black Chair for their specialist subjects. There were still a few whispered answers which may or may not have been right but which is frustrating for everyone and this time Paul very nearly got himself sent to the naughty corner for his troubles!

The kids were due to take part as well but as they couldn’t be found in time, we started without them. In the first round of specialist subjects, Paul scored 3 on British Trees, Sheila 4 on the Highway Code, Gail 1 on RYA Day skippers and Mike an impressive 9 on the Solar System. Round 2 saw very little change in the scores with very hard general knowledge questions once again and Mike emerged as the victor with a total of 14 points.

With the lights back on and the hot dogs cooking, we did the quiz answers, the entry draw and the main draw. It appears we have a secret Grease fan in the name of Tracy Rollston from Imagine who very nearly got 100%. Way more than I expected from anyone. Just think if that had been a Mastermind specialist subject!

Brian did a sterling job in the kitchen cooking the hot dogs while Fran, Sue and Sandra took their places with the bread rolls, onions and the very popular alcoholic chocolate milkshakes! Nearly a bottle of rum went into the milkshake! No, the kids weren’t drinking from the same batch, theirs were rum-free! We had just about enough of everything despite me initially forgetting the mustard and having to run back for it. I think everyone enjoyed their late night snacks and once again the little room proved to have been the best option for the evening, thankfully! The music continued with requests for allsorts of stuff from people, from Pink Floyd to Kings of Leon and the Dandy Warhols. While I was setting the music I could hear bangs followed by laughter but when ever I looked round it stopped! I couldn’t see through the crowd so I went over for a better look. Chris and Paul were taking it in turns – Jackass style – to whack a silver tray over their heads! Madness! Paul then decided to plant French Fries into Ronnie’s mouth, nose and ears before eating them! The madcap antics gradually stopped and we all made our way back to the boats. Just before I left, I had a call from little Christopher to ask if his caterpillars were still on the window cill! I had a look around and came across a bowl full of leaves with caterpillars waving about on the rim wondering where to go! Molly, Tom and I walked them back to Phantom and left them on the towpath. Apparently there were still some left in the morning and Chris put them in the fishing box to wait for them to turn into butterflies! The morning saw the wind and rain back again for Father’s Day and Marie Celeste must have been away at the crack of dawn as they were car shuffling by the time I emerged around 9.00 to start the clear up! Brian and Jackie came to help and we were done by 10am! Apparently Jamie, Josh and Tom had spent the night in the tent once again but woke up to find everything soaking wet from the overnight rain. As it sailed past, Marjam looked like a greenhouse! Heating on, steamed up windows trying to dry everything out! Poor Pauline! Having helped me tidy up and as we had turned Albion in the canal yesterday, I suggested they could do the same. Hollie was several feet shorter and we managed it with just one dodgy moment when a rope was thrown but I missed it and the engine was still running and we had to get Brian to switch off to avoid it going round the prop. A close call but we got them turned around and away.

A text from farmer Mark said he was at church until 12.15 I had a trot up the towpath to say hi to the remaining boats as most had already left for father’s Day arrangements. Tarka and Blue Lagoon were the only ones left at the far end so I had a cuppa and a chat with my Vice-Commodore and the best Pink Lady of the weekend.

Andy and I walked back to pay for the function room and book it for a do next year. We also discussed the possibility of a winter sail to use the room again, a sort of chilly - chilli night perhaps?

It is a good venue, we had a great weekend despite the odd weather and I look forward to coming to a do there that I haven’t organised!

Miserable Morecambe Bay Walk 2011

I started sniffing and sneezing the night before the cross-bay walk and the forecast was not going to help me across the bay the next day! Rain and wind expected for the whole day.

We were up at 6.30am as there were three of us to get showered and breakfasted etc. Molly’s boyfriend Tom, was walking with us for the first time and we were ready to meet with the others at 8.30.

Ronnie and Chris had chickened out citing work as their excuse and when I rang Mike to tell him we would meet him at Galgate as planned, we discovered he was still in bed and that he had got the day wrong! Some last minute reorganisation of the transport to Holker Hall saw Brian, (full of a cold too) sending Jackie back to get their car as the Hill’s car was full, my car was full and Alex and co were meeting us there. Poor Tracey was most depressed with the weather wondering why she had driven a hundred and twenty miles through the gales just to walk nine more in the rain! Although they left before us, we were surprised to arrive at Holker Hall quite a bit before the Hills. It emerged that they had decided leaving filling up with fuel a bit too long but luckily managed to find a back street garage near Grange with enough fuel for four more miles in the tank!

We met up with Alex and Colette in the car park before dishing out this years orange bandanas and getting the coach to Arnside. We arrived with an hour to kill before the official start so we booked in, got our flags and plastic macs before bumping into Mick and Sheila Fogg. Mick was walking but Sheila was chauferring only and after very nearly walking right past a brother she hadn’t seen for years, headed off to Kent’s Bank to wait. The far side of the bay disappeared in yet another squall and we took refuge under a shop canopy for a while before gathering on the beach. The Hill’s were waved off by Tracy’s parents and we posed for our traditional ‘before’ photo.

It was probably a good job I had dosed myself up with the usual painkillers as I hadn’t gone more than a half-mile before my stupid sandals let me slip in the mud and land on my dodgy knee! Luckily it seemed fine when I slithered to my feet and we set off to the headland to await the main body of walkers.

The weather was appalling, it was windy, wet and bloody cold! We waited in the trees wondering if the conditions would mean the walk was cancelled and we could all return to our warm homes before the amazingly large rustling crowd arrived.

Cedric emerged and once seated on his usual rock stripped off his footwear before leading us out into the void! Amazingly, the rain gradually stopped but the wind had no intention of subsiding and at moments it was almost hard to breath. I can almost imagine what emperor penguins go through at the South Pole! Without the freezing temperatures of course! The wind was not the only ‘spoiler’ of the day - we seemed to be constantly near a yapping dog unfortunately and it was impossible to escape it. This year the river was exceptionally wide and with aching legs , tried to walk across it backwards for a change but the possibility of falling over greatly increased so I put up with the pain and made it across safely along with everyone else. I don’t remember standing on any fish this time, but I had put my sandals back on to make the crossing so who knows!

We saw the walkers from Hest Bank pass by at the same time as a microlight buzzed us but even though they seemed to head straight for Kent’s Bank, we carried on out into the bay for another tortuous mile or so before eventually turning for the shore. At this point there was a huge cheer! The joy at knowing we were approaching the end soon changed to despair when the dreaded gullies started to appear. They are annoying as they are so well camouflaged that you don’t see them until a line starts to appear, trying to find the best route across.

Marg slipped on one such gulley and jarred her spine and back at Holker Hall we saw a lady hobble off the coach in great pain who presumably had done the same! Luckily the rest of us all made it across safely, tired but happy and pleased to have conquered the bay walk in such atrocious conditions.

Post Script from Alex and Colette.

We would like to thank all our fellow boaters and friends for their generous contribution to the RNLI. Although the day was grim as the rain lashed at us as we were having our pre-walk sandwiches. We think everybody enjoyed the excursion onto Morecambe Bay sands with the Queen’s guide, Cedric Robinson.

Together we raised over £600, a magnificent sum to swell the coffers of a truly worthy cause. Once again, thank you very much for your support, we are already thinking about 2012 so if you are between 7 and 70, give it a go!

Bowling & Biking Weekend

Another double booked weekend! I really must learn to check my diary before I agree to things! This time it was an extra rally we squeezed in to the already busy program that clashed with the Manchester to Blackpool Bike Ride.

Following the April Fool’s rally where several ACE boats joined us at bridge 79, everyone agreed it was good to have both the clubs finally burying the hatchet and the result was a bowls challenge match against ACE at the Patten Arms

The only time we could squeeze it in was the weekend before Riversway when many of our boats had already made the journey to Preston Dock. It also turned out to be the day before the charity bike ride I had promised to do last year! I had been cycling to work in the week before the rally to practice for the ride and all was going well until Wednesday morning. I went to my bike only to find it gone! I thought at first that perhaps some one had taken it for a joke but it didn’t turn up so after informing the local police, I had to try and find an alternative velocipede. With Paul Mason’s bike and Gail Wright’s fancy gel saddle but no practice time before Sunday that was the best I could do.

I set off on Friday night with cats and daughter on board not sure how many boats would turn up. I hadn’t made up my mind where to stop but I quite fancied the bump between 69 and 70. I was going to turn at bridge 70 but discovered the newly painted Killeadan was at the winding hole. I stopped for a quick chat and said we would turn at Ratcliffe wharf and if there were no boats at 74 would come back. Not another LCBC boat anywhere! Nothing at all at 74 so we sailed back to the bump. Ronnie helped me moor up as it was very shallow, but we got tied up in the end and once settled returned, armed with a bottle, to spend a very pleasant evening with the Kennys.

The morning arrived with fast moving and threatening rain clouds. It was an 11am start and forcing Molly to get up ‘early’ is always tortuous! We eventually set off for the walk to the Patten Arms calling at Killeadan on the way and catching Ronnie in the shower, cooling off after ripping the paint off his roof!

The green made for some very interesting bowls with four games on at the same time. There were balls in the gutters, balls going short, balls going in other games, several crashes and many near misses! It all added to the fun of the day and when not bowling, people happily scored for other games, played on the trampoline or just chatted with mates until it was their turn once again. We were incredibly lucky with the weather and although it was windy all day, the threat of rain disappeared soon after our chip and sandwich lunch in the pub. Play resumed, Tom disappeared to collect my bike from the boat in readiness for the big ride on Sunday while Sheila, Jayne and Christopher bounced around on the trampoline somehow keeping their dinner down!

The bowling became almost secondary to the banter between members of both clubs as old rivalries dissolved into new friendships. The ladies proved again to be the better bowlers, the youngsters enjoyed it although it took a few shouts of ‘Don’t pick that up!’ for Chris to understand he needed to wait until all the bowls had been measured from the Jack before he could collect them up! Whoops!

ACE had brought along a raffle in memory of Brian Wilsden who died last year following a long battle against cancer and this was well supported by all bowlers.

The timing worked out perfectly and we finished at 6pm just in time for our tea. John from ACE’s Stealaway presented the boat sized trophies to Sheila Eastham and Anne Yates with Marilyn Field and Dorothy as runners up and Molly and Tom coming third. In a way it was very handy for me that only three boats had sailed and everyone else had driven as I didn’t feel so rude sailing back to the marina after the meal. I had to be at Tom and Anne’s for 7am! It was a great day, everyone enjoyed it and I hope we can do it again although maybe on a better green!When I agreed to do the bike ride, I initially said I would do it on the back of Dave’s tandem but after a 22 mile practice, thought I would go solo after all. Following the theft of my bike, I nearly opted for the tandem again!

I had to stop almost immediately to tighten up the saddle and then we were on our way. We cycled over Barton Bridge and followed the canal briefly seeming to catch every red light. Tom and Dave stayed with me until Worsley when the first hill appeared and then they left me!

I followed a man with smiley faces on his underpants for a while and while I was very slow going up hill, nothing overtook me on the downhill stretches! There seemed to be more ups than downs and at times I was in the lowest of the low gears going uphill but I cycled up every single hill I came across.

There was a horrendous rainstorm about an hour and a half into the ride. I had stopped for a sandwich and some ibuprofen at the top of a hill and could see the rain approaching so I got my wet weather gear on, finished my sandwich and set off into the downpour. It lasted about an hour I think, at times the road was flooded at both edges and those of us who had not stopped for shelter were cycling along the middle of the road.

The rain stopped and some time later I cycled through Leyland, and all of a sudden found myself at Penwortham. A lady from work shouted at me from her car as I went round the roundabout and I suddenly thought I was nearly there!

Another morale boost came when I reached Preston Dock and met Paula. She had been there an hour and hadn’t seen the others! Apparently Tom and Dave stopped for a while when Dave came off in the rain but they should have still been ahead of me. I turned down the offer to stop for a while and continued onto Tom Benson Way.

It was here that I met Ian Tunbridge cycling in the opposite direction! We both stopped and he turned around and cycled with me to Kirkham. On the way he told me that he had already cycled to Manchester, realised he wasn’t going to make the start in time so went up Rivington Pike for a few miles before riding to Blackpool and then back to Preston! He was less than half a mile away from his house when I met him! What a coincidence

We cycled past the Hand & Dagger but there were no supporters there so on we went. We had a very brief stop while we waited for an ambulance to park next to a girl who had come off her bike on the road to Kirkham. She was conscious but lying on the floor when we set off once again. Considerably how many bikes were on the roads, I am surprised we didn’t see more accidents.

The hill at Kirkham was the worst one of the whole ride and many people were walking up, knackered. We carried on to the bypass and my phone rang which was a surprise as I thought I had turned it off because my battery was nearly flat. It was Anne asking where I was and by coincidence, she suddenly said she could see us at the side of the road! She was on her way to meet the guys at Blackpool!

Ian turned back leaving me with less than ten miles to go. With my talking partner now gone, I was left only with the sound of the wheels on the tarmac and my breath in my ears! It was getting hard now! The last four miles were the most difficult and Lytham was littered with cyclists having a rest either before or after they finished the marathon ride!

To everyone’s amazement, including my own, I reached Blackpool at around 2,30 and cycled passed Anne, Tom and Dave with a mile to go. I made it through the finish line collected my goody bag and certificate before returning to the car for the most welcome lift back to Preston. Tom and Dave were cycling back!

The most painful part of my body was not my ample behind but my wrists! With no time to set the bike up properly, the gear levers were not in the best position for me and I could have done with a pair of those sticky up handlebar things to vary my grip now and again. Anne gave my hands and wrists one of her marvellous massages and I drove home in the sunshine to find no hot water because Molly had turned the immersion off after tripping the electricity the day before!

I waited for the water to heat up, had a fabulous shower before bed beckoned and having already booked Monday off work I took another handful of painkillers and caught up on the sleep I had missed and now thoroughly deserved!

I raised £193.66 for Canine Partners and £82 for Animal Care so it was worth all the pain! Not sure if I’ll be doing it again though! Many thanks to everyone who sponsored me either on the Just Giving web site or on the paper form.

Another Soggy Riversway

Four days off work, £60 cattery fees, a plague of horseflies, horrendous weather, smashing goody bags, no fireworks, a fire in the pub, accidents on the river, and fear of the Link! That about sums it all up but I suppose you want the gory details!

It started well with Fred and Shaggy going on their holidays in a cage on Thursday before a car shuffle. Ronnie & Sheila picked me up from Cadley Halt in the back of their van and safely delivered me back to the marina.

Various jobs completed by lunchtime, I plugged in my mp3 player and listened to the whole of Harry Potter & the Philosophers Stone on the six hour sail to the Ribble Link Pound.

It was the penultimate beautiful day we were to have until after the Festival and my attention to Stephen Fry was all too often interrupted by having to swat horse flies while trying not to crash into the bank.

Other than the biting pests there were hardly any other living creatures on the canal, the exception being blankets of a large type of duckweed that looked as though they would soon be covering the canal if not dealt with. (This has since proved to be the case unfortunately.) Although the car was at Cadley, I decided to stop with the others in the pound and arrived to find Killeadan, Benita III and Striding Edge already there. Ronnie was painting his stripes and was the wrong way round so I turned and came alongside.

Molly should have been on her way back from school but of course she had once again chosen today to muck me around. I walked back to Cadley with Sheila to get the car as I needed it to get Molly to the bus stop in the morning. We returned to the pound to await Molly’s arrival at the bus station and while I had to remain alcohol free, the others were able to enjoy a drink with their tea.

Eventually the creature rang to say she was at the bus stop and would get to the Lane Ends on the next bus. I drove round and waited in the car park where a plonker decided to have a go at me because he was crap at parking! Already furious with my daughter who had just informed me she had missed the stop and was on her way out of Preston on the bus, I managed to restrain my response to the pathetic excuse of a man and continued my wait.

Molly eventually got off the bus and we drove back to the pound where BBQ’s had been converted to fires and everyone was in pleasant mode. I produced some spuds, Sheila some tin foil and we proceeded to bake spuds which although very crispy were delicious.

The day of the crossing was gorgeous and having dropped Molly off for her bus to school, BW arrived at 8am as expected and this year there was no repeat of the cock up that happened the last time I had been waiting with Bob and Benita. It was not uneventful though, Mike arrived with a poorly Lady Jeanna - a fouled prop was diagnosed and soon cleared.

We hadn’t expected to be first down the locks and being the wrong way round I made a pig’s ear of getting into the lock and Ronnie wasn’t much better!

The horse flies were up and at us as soon as we had gone down the staircase locks and made for some interesting sailing once again. Another monstrous creature - or so I thought - emerged from the depths of the water at the double bend as I turned to check behind me. It turned out to be a traffic barrier and disappeared from whence it came before Killeadan reached it.

Sheila was working the locks and did a sterling job the whole way down. Her work continued at the final pontoon, where there was time for fried egg sandwiches while we waited for the other boats to arrive. Benita and Lady Jeanna were next to arrive and poor Mike had managed to get his prop fouled again, this time it wasn’t just weed. Having donned waders and swung the boat out to get the best angle of the dangle, he disentangled a cushion from the propeller. This was not to be the last of Lady Jeanna’s tribulations this weekend! Striding Edge arrived soon after we tied Lady Jeanna up the right way round and soon after that we were away onto the river for a beautiful calm crossing - with no horse flies!

We sailed straight through the sea lock and into the main dock at the same time as the wind started to pick up which made for some interesting reversing for me! There was a huge inflatable buoy right in the way of where I needed to line the boat up to get it into the gap that had been ’saved’ for me and because of that and the breeze, I ended up in a gap a few boats further down! It worked for me!

Once settled in and with acquaintances renewed it was time to get the car. I didn’t realise quite how far it was by road back to the pound, nor that the pavement disappeared for the last mile! An hour and a half later I was on my way to see the latest Harry Potter film!

Having cried my eyes out and used up all of my sleeves as makeshift hankies, I returned to the dock and dished out the Summer Cruiser to the many members that were now prisoners of the dock. The evening’s entertainment was supplied by various bands from the Continental pub, needless to say although the younger boaters among us enjoyed the ‘noise’, most of us were glad we hadn’t had to pay and returned to the jetty for one of the rare evenings in the dock when we could sit out!

Around midnight, after the ‘music’ had finished, Gail came along the jetty asking where Stu’s boat was as she needed a wee and her boat was sinking! We all thought this was hilarious and started laughing but it was only when she repeated the fact that the boat really was sinking that we realised there was a problem!

Pumps, tubes and bodies were taken to the end of the jetty where the stricken boat was indeed slowly filling with water! It turned out that too many people had been seated at the back of the boat and water had got in through skin fittings that had been pulled below the water. It didn’t help that the jetty was so flexible and the ropes so tight so that when several people were standing on the boards, it was in effect forcing the boat lower in the water! Once this was noticed, we all climbed on to the bow of the boat to ensure the water was pumped out as much as it could be. We finished about 2am once we were as sure as we could be that the boat would still be floating in the morning! Thankfully Lady Jeanna was indeed still with us in the morning although I am sure Gail and Mike had a pretty sleepless night at home worrying!

With the morning came the wind and the rain. Together with Lyn from Farthing’s Hook I went to see Harry Potter for the second time! I had to see it again as the first time I was too busy wondering why they had changed so much too enjoy it!

We left the cinema in bright sunshine, made a quick stop at Morrisons before returning to the boats where I dished out a few more Cruisers including one to Anne Kay who told me she was now engaged! Good luck and congratulations Anne! The wind had blown one of Dave Gerrard’s flags into the water and he was trawling for it but unlike Don and Fran’s brolly last year and despite using various implements it was never recovered. Another item that caused problems was a buggy that Sue H had bought but could not get folded up! Many people tried and failed, it was turned upside down, sideways, pressure was applied to various bits and eventually the instructions were deciphered and with a big cheer it was folded away successfully! Fran and Misty weren’t bothered either way!

It was while chatting with the Randalls, that I discovered a big boo boo with the Summer Cruiser. The front cover was a picture of the curious cows from the bottom end but inside the write up was not there! I knew I had spent hours writing it up so I returned to the boat and got the laptop out but couldn’t find it anywhere. I had overwritten it at some point and would have to do the whole thing again! Hours wasted!

Drowning my sorrows I made my way up to the tent for the folk night with Phil Cool and friends entertaining a good-sized crowd. Those of us sitting outside had a better experience than those inside as the sound was better, it was cooler and most of the time we could see better too! There was a moment when one of the earlier performers decided he was something special and just stood right in front of us without making any effort to ensure we could still see the stage. Nice!

It turns out our very own Geoff Cooper used to work with Phil Cool forty years ago when they were both electricians and Mr Cool was just starting out as a funny man. I believe they had a good old chat about their old times during the time other acts were on. It was a much better night in my opinion and although I did hear comments about no illuminated cruise or fireworks from several members of the public, generally the evening was a success. Once back on the jetty, the ukeleles came out, Lady Jeanna floated, more booze and nibbles were consumed and although it was not the warmest of nights, we all had a very pleasant and less fraught night than Friday thank goodness.

Sunday brought heavy rain, mud and very strong winds. Very strong winds indeed. So strong that I was surprised they let the boats out to return to Tarleton and Savick. It was not a day for the feint-hearted. I walked to the bull-nose to watch the flotilla fight their way down-river against the tide and the wind at an agonisingly slow pace. With a huge squall coming our way, many of the watchers returned to the dock for shelter, leaving the slowly moving boats behind. Dave Gerrard had had engine problems before he left the dock but made it to the brook safely having passed some debris which turned out to be from the roof of Tarka! The wind had blown their top box off the roof, catching Kath a glancing blow on the head and leaving the box, a gazebo canopy and several chairs floating in the Ribble!

Neither was this the only disaster of the day! One of the cruisers returning to Tarleton, Tide & Tackle, suffered an engine failure and ran aground; Gail jumped off the boat at the pontoons, slipped and jarred her spine while nearly sliding off the pontoon into the mud and Sheila fell over and damaged her knees too! We only heard all this later that afternoon and were not assured that Kath was OK for quite a while.

Many of the remaining boaters decided to go for a Chinese buffet and headed in convoy to Preston where we enjoyed a very nice meal before returning to a very soggy dock.

Stuart had very kindly agreed to do an impromptu disco for the thirty or so boaters we managed to persuade to return to the marquee for one last night. We were treated to the remains of the beer that the Continental had not sold and although it didn’t last too long, several of the early-birds managed a few free pints! The other notable event of the evening was the fire in the Waterfront pub! This caught fire while we watched and once we established it really was the pub burning and not anything trivial, we called the Fire Brigade who spent several hours getting it under control. Stu managed to find several songs to do with fires to add to the effect and I am sure the boats that were engulfed in the plume of smoke must have thought we were mad!

Excitement over, we had a few Karaoke divas entertain us for a while before calling it a day and returning to our boats dreading the crossing the next day as the forecast was much the same as that of Sunday.

Luckily although it was still horrible, it was marginally better weather in the morning but it was still bad enough to put a few people off sailing and several last minute changes were arranged. The boats yesterday had been allowed out very early - apparently because of the steam train timetable, and realistically the Savick group should have been kept back for at least an hour. In effect this is what happened on the Monday. Whereas the mudbanks were clearly visible on Sunday, we were nearly at the top of the tide when we left and despite the wind, the short trip was far better than we expected. Phew. Alan from Farthing’s Hook had very kindly agreed to crew for me and we made it safely to the pontoons with no problems and with plenty of welly in reserve if it had been needed on the river.

The trip up the locks was speedy as I was with Marie Celeste and once at the top, they turned left and I turned right hoping to have a week at Cadley. In the end, I stopped one night on the grass before the sanitary station because Cadley was full. Two particular boats had been there for over two months and seemed to take great pleasure in having water, shower, secure parking, rubbish and elsan pints almost as an en-suite. It is these people that give residential boaters a bad name! There were also two boats on the one hour mooring that had been there since Thursday! How thoughtful and considerate! I completed my bottom end trip the next morning furious with one particular boat who has upset many people on the canal and seems to think he can get away with doing what he pleases, wherever he wants, for as long as wants. Come on BW, get a grip!

A disappointing end to an eventful weekend and once again I wondered why we do it! Still, I suppose we will all be there again next year!

Mission Impossible – update

Well, since I last reported we have had quite a few ‘false starts’. In the end Dave decided to get another engine.

We got a reconditioned ‘long’ engine from Yorkshire supposedly a Perkins marine engine, but that’s another story see later on.

We were told it was to be delivered by courier and it was a bit awkward because we were not on our own mooring, we had to move moorings because of the new road being laid along our side of the Marina, so we moved onto Tom & Anne’s mooring while they were away at Glasson. When the engine arrived I was amazed to see a 40ft curtain-sider coming towards me containing our new engine and nothing else! Talk about sending a chain saw to slice a loaf of bread!!

He came along the Marina road at some speed without thought for any pedestrians and was followed by Amanda (Chippendales) who told him she wasn’t very happy at the speed he came down. There was then quite a heated exchange between the driver & Amanda. I must say he was a bit of a clever **** and told Amanda what a good driver he was but she held her own. When he had got the engine out and delivered, I went into the boat to get my things and get into the car. When I emerged from the boat I was flabbergasted to see the wagon was tilted to one side with one wheel well and truly stuck in the soil further along the roadway. He had reversed into the new shrubbery where the newly placed boxes were and driven into the saplings with his front wheel. As I drove passed I looked the other way, it just goes to show what a “good driver” he was.

This was the first of many calamities we had.

Dave then got his head into the deep depths of the engine room and started to dismantle the old engine ready to get it out of the boat. With the help of John & Paul they managed to heave the old engine out with brute force, I expected they might have suffered a couple of hernias but luckily it came out without any injuries in the end.

Then started a l—o—n--g period of Dave in the ‘black hole’. He got the engine connected up and discovered that it wasn’t a ‘marinised’ engine, so he set about marinising it. They hadn’t sent any gaskets with the engine either so we had to wait for them to arrive. Once he had everything it took a long time to get it sorted because he had to dismantle everything and then put it back together, try it, that didn’t work, so dismantle it again and put it back together again and again and again! Eventually, after much fortitude he got the engine going! I got so excited that I texted people and told them that the engine was going and the champagne would flow that night! Dave knew there was something not quite right 15 minutes later, when the oil had emptied into the bottom of the engine room. I then had to text everyone back to tell them the champagne was on hold for the time being. It turned out that when they sent the engine because it wasn’t marinised they hadn’t sent the bottom seal and there were 2 holes by the fly wheel pumping oil out. So we had to wait again for the seals to arrive.

Nothing is ever simple for us!

When the seals arrived he set about dismantling the engine and fitting them, then putting it all back together again, for about the 6th time. But this time it started and everything was working fine, AT LAST!!!

This time I was under strict instructions not to text anyone, Dave wanted to be confident that everything was working as it should. After 2 false starts he wanted to be sure.

So for the next few days he tried the engine and everything was running well. So, one Sunday afternoon on the spur of the moment we set sail with Paul & Marg, Chris & Jayne just to see how it went. It was quite tricky getting out of the Marina but with help Dave managed it eventually, it can only get easier with practice. We didn’t want to go too far just in case, so we got to Ratcliffe Wharf and turned it round there.

On our maiden sail I must say I don’t remember too much about it because Jayne & I downed 2 bottles of champers (or Cava) between us and not being used to drinking wine I got rather ‘tipsy’ and ended up asleep on the settee.

Chris & Jayne went out for a Chinese takeaway and asked if we wanted any, we ordered ours and when it came I couldn’t eat mine, so Dave ate it as well as his own. I just went to bed and slept off the wine.

We made it to the Hest Bank rally and the champers flowed after Dave had cleared the prop by climbing in to the water as our weed hatch is virtually inaccessible! As you will read later we also had another slightly more serious set-back but we expected a few teething problems and certainly got them!

I just want to say a big thank you very much to everyone who has helped us along the way, and there have been many. To Ronnie for helping to fit out the boat, to Tom for making the back door, to Peter for making the front doors, to Chris, Josh, Jackie, Brian, Lesley and Mike for helping to scrape and black the hull, to John & Paul for help in getting the engine sorted. And to all of you who helped to pole the boat a couple of times up and down the Marina when we moved moorings and thank you everyone for your support.

See you on the cut! (At last!)

Hest Bank Holidays

Having returned from a trip to the IWA National and four days in Ipswich, the cats were nowhere to be seen on Thursday night when we returned. Both Shaggy and Fred put in an appearance during the night but only Shaggy came in. Fred took one look through the port hole and skedaddled! After doing the usual chores before a sail, I had locked Shaggy in and went off in search of Fred. I was going to sail without him having shouted my way round the marina when I stopped for a chat with Byron. Luckily I turned to look back toward the canakl and spotted a shape that did indeed turn out to be Fred. I managed to catch him and carry him back to the boat without too many scratches and off we went!

It was a beautiful day, the previous two weeks had been absolutely gorgeous so it was Sod’s law that the forecast was rubbish for the weekend! I must have been on auto-pilot for a while because all of a sudden Czardas was hooting at me! Naturally I let them pass as soon as poss and was pleased to hear they too were on their way up to Hest Bank.

Molly hopped off the boat at Lancaster to go for yet another sleepover and I carried on into the rubbish-strewn and weed-filled water of our canal as it wound its way through the city. The weed became progressively worse while the rubbish disappeared and near the old dry dock an even stranger sight appeared on the towpath. It was Tom Cutler on his bike ! He had already cycled past Eric and Joan who were by now way ahead and he was on a mission to find out where I was! We had a quick chat before he whizzed off to get the bar open!

It is a good six hour sail from Garstang Marina to Hest Bank and a long way to go just for a weekend so I wasn’t expecting a huge turnout. I was therefore incredibly pleased to see so many boats there with more expected on Saturday and what was even more surprising was that we had all managed to get tied up virtually next to each other.

At this time of year and having had all that gorgeous weather I thought we would be spread well apart. Perhaps the state of the moorings, the lack of facilities and the weed has combined to put people off.

It was Sue and Dave’s first rally on their 66ft narrow and they had sailed up on Thursday to join up with Hudson’s Tours! MarieCeleste, Tarka and English Rose had had two weeks away in the sunshine and had been up and down the canal and arranged to join the rally for the last couple of nights of their hols.

The weather held for the evening and while others were BBQing, Fran was off to the Chinese for tea so she very kindly picked up a very tasty mushroom curry for me which Imogen couldn’t believe I ate! She obviously doesn’t know how much I like my food! With tea over, it was time to break out the champagne to celebrate the first voyage of Su and Dave’s newly-named Black Pearl. It’s been a long time-coming but in the eighteen months since they bought the shell and started work on it they have transformed a hulk into a home. Very well done you guys!

Imagine arrived minus children and we had a couple of fires going and were joined by Bob and Lynn from the as yet un-named Bobblyn Ben from Garstang Marina. Bob turned out to be a fantastic guitarist and Paul had to take a back seat for once! Now matter how much I tried, I couldn’t persuade anyone to let me go and get a quiz! Can’t imagine why!

We had a marvellous night under a starry sky and I was very lucky to see a shooting star for the first time in ages. It was midnight before the last of us went to bed with the sound of a guitar still echoing in our ears Saturday morning arrived along with the rain. I had a quick shower and breakfast before grabbing the gazebo off the roof. There was no-one else about so I assembled it myself and of course as soon as it was up and pegged down to stop it blowing away, the rain eased off and people started to emerge!

I had previously donated some eco friendly washing up liquid to Fran thinking I had another bottle somewhere. Wrong, when I came to wash up, I couldn’t find the other bottle anywhere so I had to go and ask for some back! I felt a right plonker !

The moorings at Hest Bank are in really bad condition with planks missing, mooring rings pulled out and big dips and gaps in the bank. Hopefully if we all complain about it, BW will be forced to raise the priority level of the repair. Don’t forget to send your emails to BW Head Office at:

enquiries.hq@britishwaterways.co.uk or North West Office at: enquiries.northwest@britishwaterways.co.uk

Paul and Marg set off early and Sue and Dave were about to set off in hot pursuit when Dave put the boat into reverse and that is where it stayed! The gear cable had broken, it was one of the few bits that Dave hadn’t replaced I think!

Luckily once Dave had confirmed the problem, I remembered I had a spare one! With many onlookers offering advice from the towpath, poor Dave had more than enough on his plate so I handed over the cable and left him to it.

Jester arrived having battled their way up from Glasson through shallow and weedy pounds on the Glasson Branch to join the shallow and weedy main line! A quick hello and I was off to drum up walkers for a trek to Happy Mount Park and Morecambe. Just before we got away, we found another boater in trouble! Imagine’s Mark couldn’t get his new satellite aligned and Tracy was desperate to watch the footy later in the afternoon! Eric arrived with his sat finder and by the time we returned a few hours later all was OK.

A relatively small group headed down to the park via the back route and of course as soon as Imogen had asked if any cars ever came up this track and I had said that I had never seen one, what happened but a landrover appeared! We had to make ourselves very skinny and step into the bushes to enable it to get past! The next obstacle was the railway line we had to cross. Imogen wasn’t happy about it but she did it with only a few moans and groans.

All that was left now was to recognise the rest of the route! A year of weed growth had transformed what I remembered into a tiny path in places. Luckily I got it right and even better we found a short cut through the hedge with only one strand of barbed wire to climb over! Once through, Sue H and Paula were immediately drawn toward a huge twizzly thing and once Sue had actually managed to climb on the seat, Dave M had wound them up to the top and we enjoyed the hilarious spectacle of the ladies whizzing around laughing their heads off!

The Hudsons opted to stop wit the kids in the park while six of us carried on into Morecambe. My knees were playing up and I desperately needed pills to kill the pain! Luckily these were soon purchased and I began to feel better. Must be my age! Morecambe was having a sandcastle weekend and had live music alongside professional sand sculptors but the weather was not kind and must have kept people away. We had split up and Kath, Andy and myself dodged into an ice-cream parlour to avoid the next squall. Andy treated himself to a huge sundae and Kath nicked the matchmaker off it but other than that, stuck to her cappuccino.

She spotted Paula across the way and I rushed out to shout her where we were but she was just about to disappear so I had to shout before I quite got out of the shop and apparently made everyone jump with my fog-horn impression.

We soon had everyone back together and set off for the bus stop. The bus was late, cost a fortune and the driver could have saved us a fiver by telling us about the five for a fiver deal but didn’t. Miserable old git!

We returned to find that the Black Pearl, with its now functioning gear cable, had decided to stay another night as they had had enough excitement for one day. We had also been joined by more cruisers who were starting a weeks holiday just as the narrowboats were finishing theirs.

We had planned a take-away night and many people enjoyed the food from the nearby establishments! Chinese was favourite, with Indian in second place and fish and chips in last place! Everyone enjoyed their grub and soon emerged for a liquid dessert under the gazebo!

Brian and Jackie arrived by car to join in with the evening’s chat and stayed until late. There seemed to be bottles of booze everywhere! Once again were very lucky with the weather and although a little windy, it stayed dry all night. We had a great view of the windfarm off the coast of Morecambe and once the sun had departed, a line of twinkling red lights marked the position of these fabulous structures.

Eric, now with a full head of hair and Anne were busy pressing buttons on their HTC phones proving it is not just a youth pre-occupation with technology and I still couldn’t persuade people to do a quiz although we did discuss the Mastermind final planned for August Bank Holiday!

It was another midnight finish for us and everyone went to bed full of some great food ready for the long journey home—for most.

Marie Celeste was once again the first away before most of us were even awake. They were followed by the Black Pearl with Dave and Sue listening out for any noises that may have indicated another problem! I believe there was a hiccough with reverse as they came into their mooring but luckily there was no harm done and a slight adjustment of the cable soon had everything as it should be once again.

Amazingly Tarka was also up and away before 10am! Unheard of! This left about seven boats that stayed at Hest Bank for the whole of Sunday and although I had booked in for a Hest Bank to Flookburgh walk across the bay, decided against it because of the state of my knees! Not good! I spent a few hours instead trying to catch up with writing up the Cruiser and almost wished I had done the walk when I spilt my yoghurt all over the laptop!

I took advantage of a lift down to Morecambe with Phil and Tracey where the amateur sand castle builders were fighting the wind to create some fabulous sculptures on the beach. We enjoyed a couple of hours there before getting a chippy dinner and returning to Hest Bank. I came back to the boat and the Hill’s took their kite to the beach for a few hours and then got caught up in the return of the Bay walkers collecting their cars at the end of their trek!

Fred and Misty seem to have developed a tolerance of each other as they were virtually nose to nose with Fred on a chair and Misty next to it without any attacks from either one of them! Fred was soon evicted from his perch to make way for a human bottom ready for the evening.

The kids had collected a load of wood earlier in the day so it would have been rude not to burn it! Armed with a saw and a poker, Eric and Mark became fire marshals for the night and only smoked us out a couple of times!

We were joined by three non-LCBC crews - two cruisers from Bridgehouse and a narrowboat from Barton Grange. We all had a very pleasant evening getting to know each other and regaling one another with boating adventures.

Molly returned hours later than she had agreed and went straight to bed! My newly purchased solar light was on display and together with the hypnotic flames of the fire they had a soporific effect on us all. I am not sure if Alex managed to stay awake for the start of his birthday but I gave in about 11.30pm and went to bed.

Monday morning was windy and wet to start with and I took the gazebo down and tidied away before seeing any other life from our remaining boaters. Just like Tarka yesterday, Imagine were up and away way before their normal time as Mark had to go to work later in the day. I had to go on to turn first and as I was passing a moored Arlen boat near the defunct services, they asked where they could get water etc. I suggested they could try the tap near the pub but I wasn’t sure if it was on. Failing that, it would be Carnforth. They had fallen for the misinformation on the Hest Bank sign that said there were loos etc!

It was windy, weedy and a bit wet when I reached the winding hole and I turned just as the Arlen boat approached so either the water wasn’t on or they decided they wouldn’t fit in the gap! As I approached the ‘services’ again, the Barton Grange boat appeared and even though I kept as close as possible to the cruisers, they unfortunately they ended up aground and it took a while for them to get off the shallows.

Passing the cruisers , I felt the need to sing Happy Birthday to Alex who had a boatful of well-wishers on board. Leaving the holiday-makers to continue North, I braved the weed once again to return to Garstang.

All went well until I reached the bend before Aldcliffe where I could see a cruiser tied up where you wouldn’t normally stop. I asked if they were OK or needed a tow and it turned out they had actually lost their rudder somewhere in that stretch late the day before. They had only realised when the boat wouldn’t turn!

I put Pearl on a short tow warp and we set off to Galgate. All went well until we started talking about meeting other boats which is precisely what we did at the next bridge! And of course it had to be a wide-beam and we also had a narrow behind us too!

We all made it through having waited our turn and with a clear stretch, waved at the boat to overtake us. Unfortunately they went a bit faster than I expected and caused the cruiser to bash my stern and it was only after we had got underway once again that I realised my seat had been bent forward by the impact!

Although it was nice to have someone to talk to for a couple of hours, it seemed that every time we mentioned a particular hazard, it happened within a few minutes! We even mentioned the Kingfisher and blow me if moments later we met it on a bend just before Galgate!

Rob, jumped off at the bridge and ran around to catch the boat while Alistair stayed on board. The final approach to their mooring, just after the now empty basin was hampered by oncoming boats who luckily very kindly pulled into a gap on the towpath to allow us to pass. I manoeuvred the Pearl as close as I dared before casting it adrift so Alistair could throw the towrope to Rob.

I continued onwards in the wind for the final three hours back to the marina thankfully with no further incidents! I had to approach my mooring at speed in order to avoid being swept sideways and I even rang my neighbours to warn them I might bash them as I approached!

Thankfully I didn’t hit anything and managed to stop without hitting the end of the mooring too! Good job my reverse gear was working OK!

For what I was expecting to be a casual, low-key rally, we ended up with more boats than I expected, (fifteen I believe), lots of unexpected events and had a very good weekend. Many thanks once again to everyone who made the effort, braved the weed and the weather and contributed to an unexpectedly great weekend even if you wouldn’t let me torture you with a quiz or two!

And Finally . . . . .

I was going to finish this almost biblical volume with a pair of duck rescue tales, but all ducklings concerned have now recovered at the animal sanctuary and the smell of the duck poo has finally left my clothes so I thought I would recount the story that had Sue and myself crying with laughter!

It was late on a classic evening at Sue and Dave’s. The fun started when Kath stated she didn’t like the wine she had bought only for Andy to read the label and tell her she really should wear glasses when shopping as she had bought the not so special ‘3 for £10’ offer on low-alcohol wine!

The laughter died away only to be replaced later on by absolute hysterics when Dave was debagged (by me!) in full-view of Andy, in side-on view for Sandra and Kath and in rear-view for me and Sue. This was funny in itself, but I swear I wouldn’t have pulled his newly made baggy trousers down if I had known he had gone commando!

Sue ended up having to lie on the floor to stop the pain from laughing so hard, I had tears running down my face while trying desperately to get air into my lungs and I have no idea what any one else was doing as I couldn’t focus for laughing!

We eventually calmed down but when I left at 2am, I giggled all the way home, laughed myself to sleep and woke up with a smile on my face! I couldn’t recount the evening’s antics to anyone without cracking up!

The worrying thing is that I now believe you can actually die laughing! But what a way to go! Apologies to Dave!!!

P.S. Is there anyone out there that is willing to help with the Cruiser? You must be getting bored with my version of events all the time!! All contributions gratefully received! Even better, is there anyone willing to take the mag over, then I can contribute to you !

DON'T FORET THE DEADLINE FOR THE WINTER CRUISER IS OCTOBER 24TH